The Cave
by MooMoo222
Summary: Phil is afraid of Dan. (This is a fanfic I made on Omgele. This is supposed to be a funny story about AmazingPhil and danisnotonfire. Nothing is supposed to be taken seriously. Rated M for safety)


Phil sat at his desk wondering if he would see Dan today. He hoped not. Dan bullied him a lot. He looked at the clock on the wall, five minutes until the bell rang and he would have to face him. He watched the clock until the bell actually did ring and slowly walked out not seeing him at first. Dan stomped in as the bell rang. A body bumped into him aggressively "MOVE BITCH!" he yelled immediately.

"Sorry," Phil said as he was bumped into. He looked down and attempted to walk away. Dan stuck out his arm, muscles rippling. Dan's eyes looked almost black. Phil stopped unable to move around Dan. Phil just stared at him. Dan punched Phil in the mouth with his lips.

Phil backed away from him, "Wh-what are you doing?"

"Punching you in the mouth… with my lips. They're the strongest muscle in my body, or so I'm told," Dan said with a wink.

"Why?" was all Phil could mutter out, feeling really confused.

"Remember when we shared that glance? That wonderful glance in chemistry. That made me know we are dating," Dan said shrugging.

"And you didn't bother to ask me about it? What if I say no?"

"You don't have that option. We are in too deep already."

"Why not? How are we even in at all?" he asked, still confused to why Dan was acting so weird. It was awkward for him.

"Why are you hurting mu feelings? You let me punch you. That's how love works, right?"

"No, not really. That's just being a bully."

"That hurts my feelings, my tender, baby-like feelings."

"Baby-like? Dan, you bully me every day. How can your feelings be tender at all?"

"Have I ever told you my story?"

"I think you were a bit busy for that?"

"Oh right, I was punching you. Right, well, I live in a cave."

"A cave, Dan, really?"

"I grew up with wolves. I show my love by biting and punching. Haven't you ever noticed how long teeth and nails?"

"And I'm just supposed to go along with this? You do understand how crazy you sound, right?" Phil said laughing.

"You can come over sometime and see. My brother's name is RUFF. My mom is making mud-covered bunny tonight," Dan said grinning, "You'll like it."

"Oh, really?" Phil said smiling. "I'll definitely have to come over sometime," Phil said doubting he's ever go anywhere near the home, or cave, whatever it was.

"No, you'll come now," Dan said casually. He picked up Phil by the collar using his strong jaws.

"WHAT?!" Phil said as Dan picked him up. He struggled the entire way. Dan carried him all the way home, luckily his brothers and sisters were out for the day.

Dan set Phil down on the cave floor. "Take off your pants," Dan growled.

"No, I am not taking off my pants!" Phil protested.

"Okay, then I will for you. Silly boy, forgetting how to take off your own pants," Dan laughed, ripping Phil's pants off with his teeth. "Even I know how to do that, and I was raised by wolves!"

"Dan! You can't just take off my pants!" Phil was flipping out.

"Obviously I can, Philly," Dan said tapping Phil on the nose with a cheeky smile.

"Give me my pants back!"

"They are torn up, my Philly cheese steak," Dan says as he nakeds himself.

"Will you stop with the names? And I don't care Dan, I think I should go."

"You can't go," Dan says nonchalantly rolling a large boulder over the only entrance. "We haven't sexed yet."

"Dan… We are not… doing that," Phil said calmly.

"Well this is going to happen anyway. Can't stop me now, my pants are off," Dan said shrugging.

"Dan! I think I hear someone outside. Are your parents' home?" Phil said trying to change the conversation.

"MY PARENTS ARE DEAD!" Dan yelled, "Now lay down."

"Uhm… no… the wolves," Phil said doing the exact opposite.

"Why are you jumping? You're just making me want you more!"

"Dan… um… This isn't even romantic!"

"I WAS RAISED BY WOLVES! I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT WORD MEANS! Dan argued, seeing through Phil's distractions.

"But... Dan, do you really want to do it like this? What if I'm not interested?"

"Both of our pants are already off, we're half way there, might as well."

"Well, I'm not interested, Dan."

"Cool story bro," Dan says rolling his eyes. He thrusts his penis into Phil's thigh missing his goal.

"See it's a sign! We shouldn't be doing this," Phil sighed. "Dan, I like you really but, you're forcing yourself on me and I don't like that."

"I don't believe in signs," Dan says thrusting his penis into Phil. He was successful. It was super effective.

"D-Dan," Phil said trying to back away.

"See that was easy. Now stop wiggling," Dan said repeating his previous action. Phil wasn't sure what was going through his mind, but he let him this time.

"Finally! I knew you'd like it," Dan exclaimed happily. "I should tell you, we are now mated for life. If you cheat on me, your head will be ripped off," Dan said sternly, "Sorry, but that's the way of the wolves.

"You're weird Dan," Phil said simply. "And anyway I'm not attractive enough to cheat," he mumbled.

"You're right, that's why I picked you. Also, just so you know I am allowed to cheat. I'm going to go fuck PJ, stay here, bitch."

"Umm… okay" he said as Dan left. Phil grabbed his clothes and put on what he could. His pants were a bit hard to work with, but he left anyway. He didn't exactly know where he was so it was going to be kind of hard for him to know where to go. He eventually found his house after checking google maps.

Soon after, Dan burst through the door of Phil's house, "I TOLD YOU TO STAY!"

"YOU THINK I'M GOING TO STAY AFTER THAT?!" Phil yelled, "GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!"

"NO DAMN IT!" Dan yelled as he ripped Phil's head off using only his teeth. He takes Phil's mangled body home. "Guys, I've got dinner!" Dan calls as he hangs Phil's head upon the wall next to the five other skulls.


End file.
